The Shamanic Journey

Last night as I drifted off to sleep I was reminded of where I came from, and how I got here.

Back in 2001 when I was initiated into this work with Hank Wesselman and Jill Kuykendall, I had just been r*ped and was actively seeking alternative forms of healing for that event. But, there was so much more. For years, I had been living in abject poverty struggling through an abusive relationship while trying to fund my own education and cultivate a career as a line cook making $5 an hour. I hated myself, and I didn’t even know it. Everything I was living through was what on some level I thought I deserved. The r*pe was just the catalyst for change.

It didn’t just happen overnight that my life changed from living in section 8 housing, making pennies on the dollar for 16 hour shifts, being vastly undervalued and unappreciated, to what it is now: owning a gorgeous home in San Francisco, building my own business, and celebrating 13 years of partnership with the lover of my dreams.

The practice I attribute to making this all possible is shamanic journeywork. Thank all the gods that I took that anthropology class with Hank back at the turn of the century. Thanks to my grandfather for offering me the money to get my butt down to Esalen for the week-long course with Hank and Jill to provide the foundations for my practice. So much gratitude to Jill for holding low and no-cost space for us women to practice our skills month after month for so many years.

To be honest, I did start this practice with the hope that it would change me into something I am not. Hank used to tell a story in class of a student he had who was not performing well in school. She was getting poor grades, and was just kind of delinquent. After she was initiated into shamanic journeying, her life took off! She started excelling at school, graduated with honors, and went on to a successful and fulfilling life.

For years I was so disappointed that that wasn’t my path. I thought I was forsaken, or doing it wrong, or unworthy, or that I was somehow dysfunctional. Only recently have I come to the realization that shamanic journeying cannot make us into something we are not. It can only help us be more of who we truly are, in the very best ways. And sometimes that takes a while. Sometimes the soul fragmentation is so acute, the love for self is so depleted, the commitment to struggle is so ingrained, our connection to and trust in our intuition is buried so deeply, that it takes years to uncover, repair, heal, and value again.

With all of the practices I have learned, all of the healing modalities I have trained in, all of the therapy I have undergone, the one tool I have returned to time and time again is Shamanic Journeywork. And, the journey continues.

It has taken me nearly 25 years to come to deep acceptance of myself, who I am, where I am, and all my parts whether they be pretty and palatable, or ugly, messy, nasty, and destructive. It’s all me, and it’s all a gift. The outcome of this work for one person is not what the outcome will be for another. This is medicine that brings the life that was meant for us alone. What an extra special gift it is then that as I look around at all that has changed that I love it so much. I am glad to be me. I am proud of my path. And, I would love to share this work with you.

Starting this month, to honor the Sundance ceremony of the Plains Indians and all that I have learned from them, I will be practicing the Giveaway.

If you are intrigued by shamanic journeying and would like to get a taste of the work we can do together, I am offering 22 FREE mini sessions to connect with a helping spirit who wants to support you at this time. You can sign up for those here: https://www.mamabearmeds.com/22-sessions

As Saturn moves into Aries for the first time in 29 years, make this the most transformational summer you’ve ever had—and the most supported.